We know the issue of an unexpected pregnancy is just that – unexpected. Despite telling you how ‘not’ to get a girl pregnant, no one tells you what to do if she DOES get pregnant. While it’s her legal right to decide on what she does, your voice does matter.
Despite cultural pressures and opinions, you matter in this decision.
Your voice is wanted.
She’s thinking: I want to know what you are thinking even if you don’t have all the answers.
Your opinion is wanted.
She’s thinking: I’m just as confused as you.
You are scared.
She’s thinking: I am also scared and I wonder if I show my feelings or lack of understanding about the pregnancy with others that I will be forced to do something I do not want to.
How will you use your influence as a partner in this relationship? If you want to be involved, let her know that from the beginning and at the same time, don’t tell her nonverbally the opposite by disappearing during this time.
When considering an abortion, many men wonder:
- Will an abortion mean everything can go back to normal (the way it was before the unplanned pregnancy)?
- If she has an abortion, will I miss out on being a father?
- Will an abortion create hurt / resentment which may be difficult to resolve or overcome?
- Will parenting mean I lose my freedom (financially or relationally)?
- Will parenting mean that my partner can control me forever (financially or relationally)?
These are all great questions and for answers to these questions – we are here to help men process these and other questions confidentially.
At Hope Women’s Centers, both partners are always welcome at our medical centers for free and completely confidential care.
*Questions 1-5 from: 2016, Care Net. Seven Keys to Connecting With Dads.