To be single.
Some say it is the happiest of times encouraging you to “live it up! This is the best time of your life!” “you should be so thankful you are single,” and “I would love to be single again!” There are times though when the words from those in your circles fall flat, feeling oddly dull. Sometimes it just feels as though you will be single forever and it can be incredible frustrating. We get it and you are not alone.
When in a relationship, we want you to experience a healthy, dynamic, thriving relationship. To do that, we’ll start by sharing some of the lessons we have learned ourselves. This post is to elevate relationships and your value in that relationship. This is not a blog post for those just looking for a quick fling or just trying to have fun. If this is you there is no judgement from us. If you are looking for something more meaningful, real, and deep; we encourage you to continue reading.
Let’s start off by putting fact in front of feeling.
More than likely you will find that significant other. How will you view this single season of your life when you look back? Will you regret the time you wasted or with a grin on your face, will you think back and be thankful for the ability to have enjoyed growing as an individual? Take this time to learn about and invest in yourself first.
- What do you like and dislike?
- What do you want in your future relationship / your future family?
- What do you want to do career wise?
- Do you need to go back and finish school?
- Do you need to put more hours in at the office before you can ask for that promotion?
This is your time and we challenge you to see where you can develop as an individual.
Know your worth
We are not looking for just any person to be in a relationship with, we are looking for the right relationship. The relationship that will go the distance, with both people equally investing into the relationship. There is nothing wrong with being single. There is something wrong with wanting to be in a healthy and happy relationship and being with the wrong person. Dating the wrong person will only delay the time until you are with the more right person. Thinking that you can hang on to someone until the more right person comes along is completely false. It will only cause you drama, cause emotional heartache, and delay the better person to be in your life.
There are many people trying to heal from past relationships, and they bring their heavy emotional baggage into their next relationships. One way to let go of the emotional baggage is to spend time healing from previous relationships, while also knowing what you are looking for in the next. Although this is hard work, this will help you to not end up with someone that has not taken the time to heal themselves. After all, you bring 100% of what you are made up of as the other in the relationship is bringing 100% of what they are made up of.
Know what you are looking for
Take the time to write down the realistic qualities that you are looking for in your next relationship. Notice we said realistic. There is no perfect person and there is no perfect relationship. We do, however, tend to attract what we are like so to use a fishing analogy: if you are fishing for dolphin, don’t put out bait for salmon. The type of person you are is the type of person you will attract. Are there specific qualities that are non-negotiable in the next person you are in a relationship with? Make sure you spend the time thinking and writing those things down and stick to them (but make sure they are realistic).
Be careful who you get advice from
There are many people who will share their opinions with you and while they do not intend to hurt or misguide you, they are sometimes speaking from a place of hurt from a bad past experience. Be careful who you let into your inner circle, that group you first go to when considering or dealing with heavy events in your life. Those in your inner circle should have your back, and should also want the best for you more than to benefit from you.
It’s okay to be single.
Whatever your past, it is okay to be single. In fact, in this season it just might be the best thing.